Family Therapy

For families with kids 12 years old to adult

Family Therapy Overview

Family therapy, or family counseling, is a psychological treatment that focuses on improving relationships and communication within a family system. It is based on the idea that issues or conflicts within a family are often best understood and resolved by addressing the family as a whole rather than just focusing on individual family members in isolation.

Family Therapy Services

I offer family therapy primarily in three situations:

Family therapy when the children are teenagers and the family is going through a transition of specific stress
Family therapy when the children are grown, and they want to improve their relationships.
When a client I see individually wants to work on something in their family, they invite that family member to a limited number of their sessions.

Note that I do not see families with younger children because so much of my work is virtual, and this is not the preferred method when children are younger.

Keys to Family Therapy

The primary goal of family therapy is to identify and address issues that may be causing distress within the family. This can include conflicts, communication problems, behavioral issues, and emotional distress. The following are the basic tenets of family therapy:

The Family Systems Perspective

Family therapists like me view the family as a complex system with its dynamics, roles, and patterns of interaction. Problems are seen as arising from these dynamics rather than solely resulting from individual issues. Family therapists consider how changes in one family member’s behavior or attitudes can impact the entire family system. They aim to help families make positive changes that benefit everyone involved.

Inclusivity in Family Therapy

Family therapy can involve various family members, depending on the situation. It may include parents and children, couples, or even extended family members, depending on the nature of the problems being addressed. I see families with young kids and families where all the children are grown. Sometimes, I see only the part of the family where there is tension, but usually, I try to involve everyone.

The Family Therapist’s Role

I typically act as a facilitator, helping family members express their thoughts and feelings and guiding the process of problem-solving and conflict resolution. The goal of family therapy is that the positive changes, realizations, and insights gained in sessions transition to their life outside of sessions. My role is often to point out aspects of their relationships they are unaware of or, better yet, help them see this themselves.

Family Therapy Techniques

Family therapy can be helpful for a wide range of issues, such as marital conflicts, parent-child conflicts, substance abuse, mental health issues, and other challenges that affect family functioning.

I use various techniques to help families understand and resolve their issues. These include communication skills training, role-playing, family genograms (family diagrams), and other interactive exercises:

Genograms in Family Therapy

A family genogram visually represents a family’s structure and relationships. I use genograms to help family members understand their history and identify behavior patterns and intergenerational issues. Genograms become “living” documents we use as relationships evolve and change. Often, we add significant people outside the immediate family to the genogram.

Communication skills training

We might work together to improve communication within the family. Techniques may include active listening, assertiveness training, and teaching family members how to express their feelings and needs more effectively. The goal is for the gains made in the session to carry over into other aspects of the family life.

Role-playing in Family Therapy

Role-playing exercises help family members practice effective communication and problem-solving skills. In a scenario, family members may take on different roles to explore different perspectives and responses. For example, two family members in conflict may take the other person’s role to understand the other person’s perspective.

Family Sculpting and Systemic Mapping

In this technique, family members physically arrange themselves to represent their relationships, roles, and feelings. It can help visualize family dynamics and uncover underlying issues. Systemic mapping involves creating a visual map or diagram of the family system, highlighting patterns of interaction, alliances, and conflicts. It helps family members and the therapist understand the dynamics at play.

Family rituals and routines

I may encourage the development of new family rituals and routines to enhance connections and create a sense of stability within the family. Family meetings are one ritual that can provide a safe space for open and constructive communication, where family members can discuss issues, set goals, and make decisions together.

Encouraging empathy

I often work on building empathy within the family. They may use storytelling, role reversal, or perspective-taking exercises to help family members better understand each other’s experiences and emotions.

Family Therapy Approaches

There are several approaches to family systems therapy that I follow:

Structural family therapy

This therapy approach, developed by Salvador Minuchin, focuses on the organization and structure of the family. The treatment often uses techniques like joining (aligning with the family) and boundary setting to help reorganize the family system more healthily. Usually, the family has come to family therapy because specific roles are not working or family members are not taking on the roles they should.

Strategic family therapy

Developed by Jay Haley and others, this approach emphasizes problem-solving and goal-oriented strategies. I may assign “homework” or give directives to family members to address specific issues. This type of family therapy examines the family’s history and how roles have evolved.

Narrative family therapy

This approach views problems as separate from individuals and encourages family members to reframe their stories and narratives about their lives. Family members can find new solutions and perspectives by changing how they perceive their issues.

Solution-focused family therapy

The Solution-Focused Therapy technique identifies and amplifies solutions rather than dwelling on problems. I work with the family to determine what is working and build on those strengths. We often work within a specific timeline with specific goals the family wants to resolve. Sometimes, solution-focused family therapy is used when there is a particular deadline that the family wants to be finished with therapy by, perhaps an event or transition that can be predicted.

The specific techniques and approaches used in family therapy can vary depending on the family’s needs and the nature of the issues being addressed. Family therapy is a collaborative process so that we will discuss possible approaches. You will usually decide which fits your family’s unique dynamics and challenges.

Family Treatment FAQ

What family therapy techniques will you use?

My therapy practice is integrative, and each family is unique, so I always draw from various techniques and approaches that I feel would be most effective. When we meet, and I learn more about you and what you are looking for, I will go over the possible approaches and combinations of methods I am leaning toward.

How long will family therapy take?

The course of family therapy depends on the goals you want to reach and how long and challenges or barriers that affect those goals have been in place. I can say that you should see meaningful and important improvements in your family relationships along the way, and there should be a clearer answer to how long it will take as we move along.

How often will we meet?

I like to start family therapy with weekly sessions for at least 3-4 weeks to fully understand what you are looking for and the history of your relationships. After that, we can discuss the frequency of family therapy sessions and what works best for your goals and schedules.

Will we meet virtually or in-person?

I meet with many families virtually, and I’ve found no difference in the effectiveness of doing family therapy that way. For many families, it’s easier and sometimes necessary to meet virtually because they will not be in the same place simultaneously. I provide more information about my experience with virtual therapy in my blog: Virtual Therapy Effectiveness.

How will we know that family therapy is working?

Family therapy can be powerful and quite effective, and it should not be a mystery whether it is working – we will set measurable and clear goals at the start, and as we progress, we will check in to make sure therapy is working to help you reach them.